The Symphony

Last weekend I went to the St. Louis symphony orchestra it was pretty awesome, but only because it was a new type of expeirence. The whole situation was pretty weird. For one thing I went with another classmate and his girlfriend and i was with mine but we all didn't know each other that well so it was awkward. When we got there all we saw was old people. We should of knew it would be like that but it still came to a surprise. I never felt so out of place and it seemed liked everyone was givving us mean looks or something. Anyways right when we got there we lokked around the whole place and went and looked off the balcony and stuff like that. Everything was covered in velvet and looked really nice and fancy. After that we took our seats and waited for it to start. It was preety cool at first watching such great complicated music get made in front of your face. But after about the first ten minutes we all bout wanted to kill ourselves. After the first two thirds of the symphony was played there was an intermission. It wasWe all got up and went to stretch our legs and get a drink of water. We then had a choice to just leave then. Instead we didn't like idiots because we thought the last part would be good. It was actually the worse and we all left the place about to fall over asleep. Then we got something to eat and tried to make the best of a boring akward situation.

Jail Birds

I have decided that i'm taking the time that i'm in jail to work out a lot and to get a better outlook on life. I think that me going in there will be very good for me and might help with my depression. Or it might just make me want to die I really don't know. I know that It will give me a lot of time to think and that is really good. I want to lose at least ten lbs when i am in there and come out looking more cut. I'm also going to bring a journal to write whatever comes to mind in there. Me and my freinds already write a lot of stuff out just for fun and rap it to each other. Even though it might be just a myth everyone says that you can write a lot more stuff when ur in a jal cell because you have nothing else to do. So im just looking at goin to jail as a good time to get ripped and to work on my craft. Who know maybe i will come out and become a famous rapper lol. But thats basically what i have to hope for before i go in there so it will help me get through it all. I think that it is unfair my whole life situatuion. Im not blaming anyone for why I'm going because its definalty my fault im just saying that if my dad nevered kicked me out for no reason which is the gods honest truth i would never have felt the need to take from other people since i was living out of a closest with another friend that was living with a friend i had no money for food or to eat. But either way thats the past my dads still the biggest prick in the world and i hope he dies but i guess living in jail insted at his house is another plus.

drinking games

The reason why i made the title what i did is because this is my fourth to last post i have to do and because i was jsut thinking of a drinking game i played a few times this past weekend. Its called circle of death (you might have played or heard of it) Basically, you take a deck of cards and put it in a cricle around a full beer. Then each person draws a card in clockwise order around the circle. Half the cards in the deck are fun cards like if you draw a four it is called fours are for whores and all the girls in the crcle take a drink there are a lot more funnier ones like if you draw a queen it is a new rule card which means that whoever drew it gets to make a rule like you have to touch your nose before you drink or any rule the person wants. For the rest of the game until someone draws a new rule card you would have to touch your nose before you drink and if you don't and gaet caught you have to take a drink. Not all cards are special cards mainly all the low number cards so like if you drew a three depending if it were red or black you would either give three drinks to whoever you wanted (you could divide it up between people) or if it were black you have have to take all three drinks. By the end of the game if you played right your wasted and having a good time. It is prorobably one of the funnest card games to play while you are drinking.

going crazy

Like i said in my last posts i will be going to jail pretty soon. I wanted to talk aobut in this post how scared i will be when i go in there. don't know if you can relate or not I guess if youve been you know what it is like but one of the things that makes me most scared is that when i do go i will be at monroe county which couldn't be a better place to go but the thing is that the guy that killed his whole family just because he wanted to be with another women and she wouldn't be with him till he lft them so he just killed them instead of getting a divorce. That dude is fucked up. Also even though its bad enough to kill your kids it takes a special type of person to be able to strangle your kids to death and watch the life go away from there eyes. I don't get how anyone can physically do that to anyone let alone the life that you made. I'm scared of him and just because i will be right there next to some crazy dude but also i have know clue what I would do if I were to see him. My first instinct would be to beat his ass. I personally think he should already be dead for what he did but its whatever. The whole situation is going to be crazy however it goes i just wish that i could go back and stop myself from ever haveing to go to jail in the first place.

five posts left

Its funny that right now im worrying about getting my last six posts up before the date they are due in my english class. I feel like that should be the last of my wories right now but hear i am in the swic library doing my homework. I feel like this should be the last of my worries because i have a lot on my plate right now. For one thing i will be going to jail when ever we get let out for christmas break. I have been sentenced to sixty days but I'm pretty sure that with good behavior i will be getting out in thirty. I have never been to jail before and i don't really know if i should stay in there for all thrity days or only go on the weekends or something like that since i have been given the option of not going consecutively. I feel like i will learn my lesson a lot better if i go for thirty days straight but that also means i will be out of work for thirty days and not be getting paid. But if i go on the weekends it will take forever to finish. I don't get how people don't just kill themselves when they are sentenced for a really long time. I've thought about it and its only for thirty days.

Transitions

It's weird that at the beginning of the this last summer when i graduated i felt like a complete kid and didn't have a care in the world. I had no plans and nothing mattered I didn't care at the time about what I really did for the next couple of years of my life. All I wanted to do is hang out with my friends and basically do nothing all day. My whole thought process back then was just not wanting to grow up and I wanted to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted all the time. Then I got into trouble and it changed my whole perspective on life. Now just a few month later the only thing I do is go to college and work two jobs. To me i feel like I have grown up significantly maybe even against my own will. Like even though I do these things and it looks good to society and all that I feel like I spend no time having fun and doing things creative. Instead now I just do the same things everyday. Since I got in trouble I had a lot to pay for and my parents were on the verge of kicking me out if I didn't start doing something so I started working twice as much as I did and then got a car that I now have to pay bills for and insurance. I know it is the right things to do and and to keep progressing and growing up in life but I just hate how quick it had to happen. All i want to do is to go back to the beginning of this last summer just to relive it.

Freakin out!

I'm writing my blog this week about people flippin there lids. This last monday i got my financial aid report in the mail. They said it would cost me around 15,000 just this year when i called them, because it certainly couldn't be correct they said all the numbers on the page were right i blew up on them and said that it can't be true and at this point is when I started freaking out I got really hot almost to where I was sweating and I was so mad I didn't go to my last two classes for the day. I was pissed off at everyone and taking it out on people in my life the rest of the day that had nothing to do with it. My mother called them and got it all squared away by the end. It made me relize why some people go crazy sometimes and it made me understand better why people sometimes do bad things when they feel like their whole world is turning upside down.